During this fall season with Thanksgiving and Halloween events abound, there are several small scarecrows decorating the local community. It had me thinking that life might be easier, if people were simply made of straw. The inability to express challenging points of view might bring along with it a sense of peace and calm albeit in a falsely muted way.
Unlike any other time in recent history, it feels as though female voices are particularly absent from public discourse. As a junior-senior, I have noticed the rise and fall of gender based issues, especially more traditional feminist perspectives that worked tirelessly to advance the talents, wisdom and contributions of women in the workplace, economy, and elected office.
It has always been hard for professional women to be considered feminist when fights for equality in voice and deed were lumped in with important reproductive health rights like birth control. How did a woman identified as Catholic or religious ever espouse to be a feminist at the same time? Having room to participate without fully buying in on every aspect of a position is in my view an experience of personal freedom. I agree with some aspects of feminism, but not all.
In current times, it feels as though many social movements have silenced voices due in part to increasingly black-and-white discourses that inadvertently limit spaces for real inclusion and diversity of thought. The room for thinking differently was always a feature of social movements that try to speak with one voice. We seem to understand collectively that some level of disagreement was healthy and perhaps the key to advancing social movements and keeping them alive. How did women ever feel included in the feminist movement while also believing in the sanctity of human life from the moment of conception at the same time? As a woman of faith, I never felt fully represented by the feminist movement, yet I would confidently identify as a feminist.
In Indigenous discourses human babies are referred to beautifully as “sacred bundles” that were clearly expressed when challenging our government’s historical practice of forced sterilisation. Our national history around forced sterilisation is quite horrific if you are interested in learning about examples of real oppression in a Canadian context. It is important to look back at our own national history to remember how far governments can go when left without interference by the people on the ground. Our voices remain the most powerful tool to advance change and to protect what we already have.
There are multiple perspectives and voices that represent Canadian values, not just one. Newcomers often express values in session with me that reflect cultural and religious beliefs that differ from secular views that dominate Canadian perspectives at this time. They, like my younger me, are learning to occupy public spaces freely and safely exploring, questioning, and expressing differences of opinion.
At times, my work as a therapist is to encourage women to safely challenge what they experience as oppressive cultural or familial practices that silence them. Women continue to need safe spaces to think about the reasons they are feeling so unwell. Finding a counselling professional who fosters a sense of trust and safety allows women to identify and analyze family and cultural dynamics that disempower them. Despite the progress of modern times, this work with women remains both sensitive and relevant.
The idea that modern society has advanced the rights of women has sadly fallen short of the feminist promise. The right of women to think freely and critically, to grow in ways that best reflect what they need, want and deserve, and to express differences of opinion without prejudice seems weakened.
Instead, women are encouraged to support a ridiculous list of claims around reproductive health, birth control, sex and sexuality, dating and consent, ethical non-monogamy, childbirth, parenting, and more. Themes of women’s issues remain the same as those of us post-60 years of age and older remember them to be. Each big issue for women has within it space for debate. The amount of disinformation is astounding despite educational advancement.
In my private practice , I am privileged to work with a diverse group of professional women seeking mental health support. These women are well educated, highly skilled, and hard-working, and often “ready” to take an honest look at family and cultural dynamics that are classically misogynistic and clearly oppressive for women specifically.
Making personal decisions to separate and divorce is never easy, and can be especially complicated when women are saddled with cultural narratives used to keep them in unhappy and at times emotionally or physically abusive marriages.
Seems we have not really come that far after all, baby!
I am not sure how millennial women will course correct the unfortunate neglect of issues women face who feel it is simply unsafe to speak up. The feminist movement was built upon the fundamental principle that we were there to support, protect, empower and advance one another.
When I tune in to listen to women, I hear the elders speaking out like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Margaret Atwood. I rarely hear intelligent younger women talking about their issues beyond health and wellness topics like perimenopause, protein consumption, ageing well, and the like. Social discourses that take on the hardcore issues like naming the societal, familial, and economical factors of our times that create the experience of far too many women at home & in the workplace to conclude “I think you like it best when I hold back on what I really want to say and think” are muted.
When you next walk past a decorative scarecrow, I hope you take a moment to reflect on how what you do silences the plight of women who simply wish to live freely and without judgement for their choices. How might you work to empower people to speak up safely on matters of importance to them, and without social repercussions like job loss or social exclusion. In my opinion, your voice is one of the few precious non-negotiable aspects of humanity that we possess. Losing voice is always too high a cost to pay for having a different point of view.
Enjoy your October!
Lisa Romano-Dwyer MSW, PhD, RSW
