All politics aside, marriage is a commitment between two people that requires nurturing, time, and care like no other. Often pushed to the edge of everyday living, it is quite miraculous when two people are able to remain together committed in and to marriage over the long term. What is the secret to a “happy” marriage many people ask? How is it possible that the two of you are still going along so well together – after all this time?
Of course as a therapist, I have firsthand experiences working with many people over the years who encounter serious and unexpected events in their marriages. Many times, perhaps too often, marriages do fall apart due to neglect, distraction, and perhaps, ingratitude. Mostly, marriages end when new relationships have been given permission to begin. In other words, people will often stay in very unhappy unions until they open their heart to another caring ear, wandering eye, or helping hand. Sadly, some relationships grow apart emotionally, physically and spiritually. It may feel easier to move forward with someone new instead of continuing to try with a partner who no longer meets your needs for love, affection, fun, personal growth, intellectual advancement, and sexual fulfillment.
There are many important dimensions to a happy and healthy marriage. These areas of personal wellness become increasingly apparent when married couples decide to have children together and to grow a family. The presence of children certainly changes things! Priorities, timelines, behaviours, sacrifices, everyday duties, and responsibilities grow and change in relation to the beautiful and blessed gift that children bring to married couples in love. Brought forth into this world through a healthy marital bed, children dramatically change the lives of couples in the most uplifting and happy ways. As two people age together, and have the blessed experience of becoming grandparents, the “tough” days seem irrelevant cast in the light of hope that new life promises to bring.
I am definitely not qualified to discern whether marriage is in fact a sacred union. But, when I meet two married people who demonstrate deep love, affection, and respect for one another – the glow of something more powerful and larger than even the couple can explain seems very real to me. There is no doubt in my mind that marriage is truly a sacred bond between two people in love. A bond so deep, powerful, and beautiful that it can last a lifetime. Deciding to hold a traditional marriage ceremony that seeks a holy blessing can only help in our world riddled with loneliness, sadness, and despair.
How do you congratulate newly married couples, parents, and grandparents? What are some of the important ways you deliberately nurture your marriage and honour the power of your holy union everyday? Do you think your marriage will last? What proof do you have? Make it your daily habit to remind yourself about how lucky you are to have a lifelong companion with whom you share laughter, joy, sex, and just ordinary stuff!
BE THINK AND DO WELLNESS